Diary of a Wimpy Kid

"Let me get something straight - this is a journal, not a dairy. I'm not going to write about my feelings or anything. The only reason I agreed to do this is because it'll come in handy one day when I'm rich and famous... But for now I'm stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons.
Today is the first day of school and I, Greg Heffley, am taking you with me.
Just don't expect me to be all 'Dear Diary' this and 'Dear Diary' that.