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Spread your wings - Fr. Grzegorz Polok, knyga

Spread your wings

For a few years I have been an academic employee at the University
of Economics in Katowice and an academic priest for the community
connected with this school. In that time I have had possibilities, either at
the university or at academic pastoral groups, to meet students, lecturers or
administration workers of ‘my’ academy. Common prayers, dialogues and
undertaken activities have let me discover how wonderful those people were
with a great personal sensitivity and many layers of goodness in their hearts.
At the same time, I noticed that lots of them, students especially, showed
sadness, strong fears and deep anxiety associated with very low self-esteem
or even with total lack of it. Some of them were brave enough to conquer
their fears, shame and break a long-lasting silence and, sometimes for the
first time, introduce their family situations to ‘a stranger’. In dramatic utterances
made by those young people, often full of pain and tears, I have
discovered that their today’s difficulties, fears, lack of self-confidence and
resorting to loneliness have roots in their families and their parents’ attitude
towards them.
I could not be indifferent to that ‘sea of suffering’ and began to look
for methods to assist ‘my’ hurt scholars. I took care of intensive education in
this field on my own. I did realise that a lot of so-called dysfunctional Polish
families do not provide for basic functions and tasks appropriate for their
children. I became aware that this causes negative effects in adulthood to
children who are from such families. The literature on this subject describes
such people as adult children of dysfunctional families (ACoDF). My further
education, along with long retreat conversations with academic youth
coming from families with alcoholic problems, let me discover that there
is a huge group of people described as adult children of alcoholics (ACA).
Those people, in a particular way, experienced dysfunction of their families
on the grounds of a parent or both parents’ overusing alcohol or being
addicted to it. I was able to notice that students who experienced a large
dysfunction in their families, which was not connected with an alcoholic
problem but with a parent’s mental illness, for example, or his/her death,
or emotional or legal divorce, violence or permanent emotional or physical
absence, felt similar as their peers from families with alcoholic problems.
The knowledge I obtained emboldened me to organise a year therapy for
ACoDF and ACA students in chaplaincy ‘Zawodzie’ in Katowice in 2001. Annual
therapeutic activities are still organised, and it is an honour for me to
take spiritual care of therapeutic groups.
8
A possibility to meet so many wonderful young people – adult children
from dysfunctional families – and watch their everyday efforts intensified
my talks about them within the academic community. During the
course of those talks, a low awareness of the academic community was apparent
regarding students and workers, and adult children from dysfunctional
families. I decided, therefore, to inform the academic community
widely about this problem in a clear and concise way. I demonstrate possible
solutions to help those in need and suggest ways to counteract all dysfunctions
of the family. Encouraged by my students and friends, I took up a challenge
to write this book together with them. I am aware I am not a specialist
in the field covered by this book, but I have had courage to take this task
on because of all the adult children of dysfunctional families who placed
confidence in me and supported me in my life. Thanks must be paid to all
who undertook the task over my book pro publico bono, particularly its advisor
Prof. Ewa Syrek, PhD. at the Pedagogy and Psychology Department of
the Silesian University in Katowice. I hope it will be a support to those who
would like to read it and that it will bring them a glimmer of hope.
Fr. Grzegorz Polok
ISBN kodas:
9788393822607
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