Mad cows

Maddy's first day out with her newborn takes a Kafkaesque turn when she's arrested in Harrods for shoplifting. If this is a miscarriage of justice, then detaining her in Holloway Prison's Mother and baby unit is the D&C. The only person she can turn to is her ex-lover Alex, who proves himself as useful as a solar-powered vibrator on a rainy day. When will he realise that a paternity suit is not the latest look in men's leisurewear? How do you brief a lawyer with a heat-seeking penis which doesn't report to mission control? And why the hell is Maddy's friend Gillian searching for a sperm happy to get egg over its face? This is a book with hard knocks and rude shocks.