Madonna. An Intimate Biography

What's the best part of Madonna: An Intimate Biography? The sex part! According to author J. Randy Taraborrelli, Madonna tried to insure her breasts for $6 million each. Prince dumped her because "he wanted to savor every second [of sex]; she was into multiple orgasms." Sean Penn demanded she get an HIV test. "Screw you," she said. "Not until you get tested," he said. When Penn found out about Madonna and Prince, he punched a hole in her wall. Madonna demanded that Prince plaster it ("You're responsible!"), and he did. JFK Jr. refused to give her a baby, and Jackie objected to his affair with someone called a "Material Girl." "Who in this world has been more materialistic than you?" JFK Jr. asked his mother. When he and Madonna dumped each other, he said, "Easy come, easy go." She compared her Broadway debut in Speed-the-Plow to "having really good sex." After their first kiss, Warren Beatty said, "Houston, we have lift-off." Madonna's tune "Hanky Panky" reflects Beatty's favorite sport, spanking. But Barbra Streisand helped convince him to dump the "floozy," so she picked up Tony Ward on Malibu Beach by putting out a cigarette on his back and pinching his nipple. When she realized he was more of a floozy than she was, she spent 21 and a half hours in the Carlyle Hotel trying to convince the married Penn to father her child. Rebuffed, she picked up Carlos Leon, a fitness trainer at Crunch, in Central Park, and presto, she had a baby. Dennis Rodman (whom she called "Daddy Long Legs") was a dud in bed, but she found true love in the daddy of her second child, Princess Diana's cousin Guy Ritchie, director of Snatch.

There's stuff about her career in the book, but Taraborrelli is a lousy music and film critic. I can't vouch for the accuracy of his dish, but I promise you that as a gossip he's the real thing. --Tim Appelo